Have you ever been walking along and you get that beautiful smell of Lilacs in the wind? Strong and fragrant, the fragrance wows the senses and often stops me in my tracks. Now take an Orchid, they don’t normally wow you with their fragrance, but they are visually spectacular. All those beautiful branches with flowers branching off. Delicate and in need of support, special care and patience to produce each delicate flower.
I feel like this is the crossroads we are at in our medical journey. On the one hand we can go for the wow, removing my kidney now and move forward with a sense of control that would give us. Or…we can pursue another option, push the kidney removal off until a future unknown date and let God support us, patiently walking a path and allowing him to cultivate a new and more delicate journey that will require us to walk solely by faith, with some reliance on a still unproven medical option, trusting him to alert us when and if the time comes to remove the kidney. This is also an opportunity to allow God to grow a more beautiful, deeper faith in us. For the Holy Spirit to help us learn to rely more deeply on God, glorifying Him every step of the way.
You see, God has given us a WOW of His own. A spectacular surprise, I call it a miracle. A stop you in your tracks beauty of a smaller tumor, easier to remove and has caused the surgeon, and us, to step back and re-evaluate our next steps. Leave it to God to boldly remind us who is in charge and that His plans far exceed our expectations.
I have been continually reminding myself of these few verses, as I’ve gotten my plan laid out to move forward with removing the kidney in July, and oh how they are true.
Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand. (Proverbs 19:21)
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8-9)
God is constantly at work around us, and it doesn’t come as a surprise to me, but His methods, the ways in which He provides miracles always amazes me. It makes me realize how truly powerful our God is. This is not a miracle of a complete cure, the cancer is still present, the tumor will still grow, and the doctor is unable to verify if the cancer has spread elsewhere in the kidney, however, it is a vast improvement over the quickly growing tumor we had in January.
Now we have a choice, a decision laid before us. A decision that lays our emotions bare before God and our family and friends. A decision where I know we will be carried in prayer by many, but will become truly personal for our family. But because of our faith and the prayers of many faithful friends, I am confident God will guide us and nurture us as we forge ahead in prayer seeking His direction and next steps.
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.” (Mt 7:7-8)
God has provided the practical steps, we have been praying for wisdom and He has led us to seek second and third opinions to become informed on treatment options and we’ve learned what the best success would be. And now we are knocking on the door of making a decision, going deeper in prayer and asking God with directness the two options before us. I trust He is listening and I trust as we gather together, He will reveal through prayer and in conversations with loved ones and our doctor, what the next course of action shall be.
We are grateful for each and every prayer brought to God on our behalf and today we are filled with a profound sense of peace that can only come from our great God. Only God!
With much love,