This week I have been reflecting on the goodness of God. I have had a week of great test results, my bladder is cancer free, what a relief, my other medical tests have also come back with good news. I feel so blessed, not because of the good news, although that increases the joy, but I feel blessed because so many people continue to love on me, to pray for me and are truly interested in how we are doing.
Regardless of the outcome, God has chosen me as His own. He loves me daily, and I see it expressed in scripture, in friendships, in my husband, my family. I may be going through some tough physical struggles, but God’s constant presence, consistent love, and trustworthiness never wavers. I may waver in faith, but He lifts me up, holds me strong and is the rock upon which I place my life.
This rock solid foundation upon which I have placed my trust, do you have it? Do you know Jesus in a personal way?
This week I’ve come to realize that though I life has changed physically-living with no kidneys-I have gained emotionally and in other physical ways. I have discovered a new-found depth to God’s love, I have clung to the truth of His Words, and I have learned I cannot rely upon my own power to make it through each day. I need the strength and courage of Jesus to take each step moment by moment. In Him I can persevere, but not simply persevere, I can grow spiritually and flourish. My life has changed dramatically, but for the better.
Living on dialysis is not fun, I hate being tied to a schedule and a machine to clean my blood. I am tired frequently as waste builds up in my system and I get frustrated that I physically can’t do what I want to do. But…..God is good. He is with me. He sees my frustration and has compassion for me. When I am down, a phone call from a friend usually happens, or He shows me His presence in nature to remind me He is with me. When things are going well, I can’t help but rejoice in the joy of life. When things are tough, I rejoice in His presence.
Feeling blessed in the midst of an illness is so counter cultural, but that is how I am feeling today. Blessed by the love of Jesus. Blessed by the love of family and friends.
My dear friends, if you are suffering, frustrated, and feeling overwhelmed, please take a moment to sit in stillness. Take a deep breath and ask God to show himself to you. Reach out to a friend and ask for help. (Or, do you have a friend who is struggling right now that you could support.) In the stillness is where we can hear Jesus.
My life verse has been and continues to be:
Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10
Why this verse? Because stillness and inactivity is not how I am wired and I need to physically still my body and quiet my mind to see Jesus. Without this reminder, I can go through days without recognizing God in my midst and I can miss those holy moments.
Today, find yourself a quiet place and have a holy moment with Jesus. He will meet you in the stillness. Be patient. Quiet your mind. Set a timer. 5 minutes will do, you can do it.