Excitement is in the air as I prepared to travel to a writers conference. With a sense of purpose and longing, I created business cards. Filled with anticipation, hope and apprehension, my dream moving to reality, I took the plunge to meet with a publisher, opening myself up in a way I hadn’t before.
As I arrived, I began to doubt my abilities and calling, fear and questions reared their ugly heads. My normal bubbly confident self detonated into a puddle of insecurities. I don’t belong here…
I “learned” much information that day, but received no interest from a publisher. My lack of self-confidence made me timid, having a hard time connecting. When I returned home, I pushed my writing aside, allowing this “failure” to define my writing instead of looking to God to define me.
When things don’t work out as WE planned, we see “failure.” Self-confidence is lost in ourselves and our calling. We question God, “Did I hear you wrong?” But failure might be God saying the time is not right. Our success may be meant for later, when God knows we’ll be more prepared to live out our dream.
What’s your dream? Have you experienced success or failure?
God often places dreams on our hearts out of His desire for us to live fulfilled and energized. Some dreams He fulfills. Other dreams He redirects or reshapes, having our best interests in mind. He knows what’s ahead, what will serve us best and bring Him glory. If my dream is all about ME, it becomes self-serving and not for His glory.
If your dream was fulfilled, whom would receive the glory?
Looking back on the writers conference, my writing was more about me and less about God. I saw “publishing” as my measurement. During my time off from writing, God refined my character and refined the quality of my words. He showed me success is being obedient to His call.
When God places a calling on our hearts, we can react with paralyzing fear and doubt we heard Him right or excitement at the prospect of a new adventure alongside God.
As God filled me with my dream and calling to write, I was excited but filled with trepidation. What would I write about? The first time I stepped into my calling I wrote a daily blog post for 25 days before Christmas. I had doubts, but each day God provided me with a topic, scripture and words to share. It was an amazing experience of God’s faithfulness proving God provides where He calls.
Since I began writing again, some days are difficult, however I remind myself it’s not about me, but if I’m glorifying God and being obedient to what He’s called me to do, it’s a success. Some words I post are more impactful than others, some better written than others, but each time as I sit down and write, I am at peace with what I’ve been called to by God.
Stepping into God’s call on our life requires obedience, tenacity and a full reliance on God. His desire for those of us who love Him is to work all things in our lives for our good and His glory. We can anchor ourselves on this truth.
As we continue to pursue our dreams, there will be days where we doubt our abilities, but we must continually remind ourselves God provides where He calls. There will be difficulties and disappointments, but with each, see them as an opportunity for God to grow our faith and for our character to be refined.
Trust God with the future of your dream!